The following memory has become a cherished treasure. It is true.
It was 1972. I was 19 & in my sophomore year as a resident
student at a small, parochial college. It was a coed school, & while religion wasn't
forced on the students as far as classes or attending services, the religious overtones
ensured a strict code concerning on-campus behavior, especially in the dormitories.
"Co-mingling", as they put it, between male & female students was very much
discouraged, as were parties, loud music, etc.
To ensure everything stayed orderly, each dorm had one resident
faculty member, called a dorm advisor, as well as upper classwomen on each floor known as
dorm assistants. Needless to say, the dorms were almost always quiet.
The college was not completely scholarly, but parties were
confined to weekends at one or more of the fraternity & sorority houses located
off-campus. With our studies, that usually sufficed, but, on those occasions where we had
no classes the next day or just wanted to have some fun, there wasn't much to do except go
stir crazy. Or break the rules.
It was on such a night that my dorms mate & friend Julie &
I decided to have a party of our own. We weren't of legal drinking age, but it was not
difficult to find someone to buy liquor for you, & we decided to listen to music &
relax over a few bottles of beer I had squirreled away.
We were talking & laughing when Julie decided this was a
special occasion & called for a special treat. She left briefly, returning with a
twinkle in her eye & something concealed in her hand. When she giggled & showed me
the marijuana joint she held, I wasn't surprised. There wasn't a lot of pot smoking on
campus, but it wasn't unknown. I had tried it once before & it hadn't had much of an
effect except to make me choke.
I had no reluctance to try it again now, except that I was dressed
for bed in a short teddy & it was past midnight. Julie was similarly attired & I
told her it wasn't worth getting dressed, rushing outside, & getting back in by the
1:00 AM curfew when all dorms were locked. Having to explain why you were late to our dorm
advisor was like going through the third degree before the puritanical council.
Miss Findley was an accounting professor in her late thirties,
fairly attractive, but one conversation was all it took to know she would probably be a
spinster until the day she died. She wasn't a nun, but she might as well have been because
she was the holier than thou, fire & brimstone type that gave off the instant sense
that any transgression, fun, or frolic would inevitably result in the culprit being
sentenced to eternity in the fires of hell.
Running into her tonight would not be wise, Julie agreed, but she
added that we didn't have to go outside anyway. She insisted we could smoke the joint in
the room without anyone knowing. I wasn't that hard to convince I suppose, so we ended up
hanging out the window, smoking & giggling & having a great time.
We'd finished, closed the windows, & settled back into a
goofy-fun banter when a sudden, insistent knock on our door rang through the room. We both
were instantly alarmed, knowing it was far too late for casual visitors. Quickly realizing
we were trapped, we both froze for a moment, but then Miss Findley's voice demanding we
open the door sent us frantically running to hide the beer bottles & even spraying
some perfume to cover any traces of the marijuana's pungent smell. It didn't occur to us
then that by making so much noise, & taking so long to answer the door, we had only
given Miss Findley cause to be more suspicious than she would have been otherwise.
I went to the door after one last, quick look around & opened
it a crack. Miss Findley was standing there like an avenging angel. Rigid as a statue, she
stood with arms asked what was wrong, but she wasn't in the mood to wait in the hall &
pushed into the room before I could even think of stopping her. As she brushed past me, a
quick movement in the hall caught my eye & I saw Susan Church, Miss Findley's pet
student & dorm assistant for the floor above ours, standing there.
Her smirk was wide enough for me to instantly realize she was the
cause of Miss Findley's intrusion, & I cast her a quick, withering glare before
Julie's worried voice caught my attention. With a small amount of satisfaction, I closed
the door on Susan & her smirking curiosity. She may be able to find out everything
that happened later, but I wasn't light-headed enough to let her see the live show.
Miss Findley never wasted a second, especially when in the pursuit
of exposing misdeeds, so she immediately began questioning us in her thorough manner.
Julie & I tried to explain, leaving out the beer & joint, of course, but Miss
Findley cut us off, ordering us to approach her.
We had no choice &, when we both were close enough to smell
Miss Findley's talcum powder, she made each of us exhale & nodded as our beer-soured
breath confirmed our guilt. She asked us where we'd put the bottles, & when we pointed
to a closet, she carried the four empties back to my desk & lined them up like a
monument to our guilt. All the while, she berated us for foolishness in defying not only
school policy, but also state law.
Miss Findley had that type of domineering personality that made
everyone feel small, but that night she was in rare form. Julie & I could only stand
there, wanting to vanish into thin air as she read us a riot act that had our knees
knocking. As scared as we were at that moment, it soon was replaced by an even stronger
sensation: sheer terror.
Miss Findley asked us point blank if we'd been using drugs. Julie
& I both started at that, having had no warning that she even suspected. We tried to
lie - honesty is not always the best policy! The school expelled students caught with any
kind of drugs - & held to our story until Miss Findley told us to be quiet. She told
us she knew we were lying & she was not going to stand for it. Telling us to be seated
at our desks, she proceeded to search the room.
Julie & I were beside ourselves by now because we had put the
butt of the joint in the garbage & we felt sure Miss Findley would find it. Looking at
Julie, I shrugged & whispered we'd be better off telling her before she did.
We were both on the verge of tears while we admitted what we'd
done. Miss Findley became angrier than I'd ever remembered seeing her, her voice cold
& flat as she demanded to know if we'd lost our minds & then proceeding to explain
why we had to.
I'll never forget how I felt at that moment: with tears rolling
down my cheeks, I saw all that I'd worked for gone, my parents trust & pride
shattered, my future ruined. One silly mistake would haunt me forever & cost me more
than I'd ever considered. I've never felt worse in my life, before or since.
Miss Findley let us both wallow in misery for several minutes
before telling us to be quiet & beginning a new interrogation. By the time it ended,
she knew everything she wanted to about us, watching us closely as we responded to her
specific questions &, finally, sitting back to regard us with a disappointed frown.
The agony of the next few minutes was unforgettable. Our only hope
was that the sincere begging & pleading we'd done would find a bit of mercy in Miss
Findley. She knew we were good kids, reasonably good students, & both came from nice
families. I was praying like I never had before when Miss Findley suddenly spoke. She
confessed to being undecided, knowing the rules & what she should do, but reluctant to
impose such a harsh penalty on us or our families for one act of irresponsibility.
Julie & I almost jumped up in glee while babbling in
agreement, but Miss Findley just looked thoughtful & said we weren't off the hook yet.
I told her I'd go to confession, say a rosary, do anything she wanted if she'd let us off
& Julie promised the same.
Miss Findley listened, said confession was in order, but that Hail
Marys would not due as penance for a such a serious crime. Looking at us, she said we
deserved exactly the same penance her mother gave her for gross misbehavior when she was
19: a spanking!
Julie & I weren't prepared for that, but neither did we
hesitate to offer ourselves for a spanking if that's what she wanted. Neither of us was
"into" spanking then, but it seemed a small price to pay compared to being
expelled & convicted as drug offenders. Miss Findley didn't accept our offer. She just
looked at her watch & told us to be at her room in one hour. She would inform us of
her decision then. She left with the marijuana butt in her hand & a last pronouncement
that we two had put her in a very difficult position & she was not pleased.
Julie & I spent the hour commiserating, hoping, & praying
that Miss Findley would decide not to turn us in. We talked about any penalty Miss Findley
could concoct - including being spanked! - & agreed anything would be less
humiliating, painful, or damaging than being expelled & having a drug offense attached
to our records forever.
The hour finally passed & Julie & I made our way through
the empty halls to Miss Findley's apartment. It was going on 2:00 AM, everyone else was
asleep, & all was quiet except for the drumming of our hearts. Miss Findley, being
dorm advisor, had a suite of rooms separated from the main dorm. The door adjoined the
main lobby, & as we paused in front of it, we both were thankful for the late hour.