On this page:
An inspiring piece by Ms. Margaret Davis...
Disciplinarian, Headmistress, Lifestyler & Currently One
of America's Most Celebrated Spanking Socialite Hostesses...

directed toward other once/still shy & secretive spanking women originally published in a very early issue of our flagship
Fem-spanks-Male forum,
No-Nonsense Ladies...

The ONLY Thing
We Have To Fear
Is Fear Itself!

A very dear &, dare we say, old personal friend of the SHE family, Ms. Margaret Davis (above at the US Capitol) has made her mark on more than our hearts & the blushing bottoms of all the needy naughties who have sought her kind but firm care.

This amazing woman not only had the courage to overcome the secretive, shy spanking life-history most of us share until the day she took the first, scary step into the unknown, "active" sisterhood & found out what many women do... That she had finally come home & wished she hadn't waited so long to take the trip!  She has also eagerly embarked on her own personal crusade to inform, entertain, and, hopefully, inspire reluctant, sisters-in-spanking to discover the pleasure she has found as a confident, exceptional "liberated" Lady Spanker! 

Toward that end, Margaret has undertaken many social appearances & speaking engagements, written many missives like the one below, & personally hosted an ongoing string of highly successful New York City spanking socials & spanking weekend getaways in the Pocono Mountains of Pennsylvania.  As if that weren't monumental enough, Margaret has also established the Spanking Club of New York, (SCONY), an open too all old-fashioned preference support & social group for Big Apple area spankers.

That all said, we're pleased to present this wonderful piece Margaret penned for a past issue of No-Nonsense Ladies & trust, hope & pray that her true & encouraging words just might make some of our many too secretive Lady Spankers decide to speak or reach out as far as their individual limits allow. Believe Margaret.  And me!  You'll be very glad you did! - Barbara

The comment I most often hear from the men who have received my 'attention' is that they wish there were more women willing to spank them. I can't really say I find it hard to believe, but it is a little surprising to me. If you have a special man in your life, and if he enjoys being turned over your knee and treated like a little boy, just for awhile, why not? Doesn't he deserve to have his fantasies fulfilled? Doesn't he deserve to indulge his need to be small for a short time? And even if there isn't a special someone in your life, it can still be a great time.

I recognize that it can be a scary possibility. Most women aren't really used to being in control, especially physical control, of a man. But when a man trusts you enough to give you that control, to leave himself at your mercy like that, it can be an incredible turn on. And it is certain to be a turn on for him as well.

When you grant a man the favor of indulging his spanking fantasy, you accomplish several things. You endear yourself to him, since you're giving him something he wants and has trouble finding. You're also tending to a need of his, even if he doesn't realize it himself. In my experience, most men (and women, too, for that matter) who enjoy being spanked actually do much more than just enjoy it. They need it, they crave it, they fantasize about it almost constantly.

Just look at yourself... You're reading this publication, so it's an interest of yours. How often do you find yourself thinking about spanking? I'd bet it's not more than two or three hundred times a day. Well, ladies, the male of the species is just as consumed by it as you are, if not moreso. Doesn't it just make sense that if there's this common ground between you, something that is so ingrained and powerful, that you should explore it?

Many women I've discussed this with have said they're hesitant to act on their impulses. The reasons range from not finding the right partner, one they feel comfortable with, to fear, and even insecurity over whether or not they'll be able to 'do a good job'. Well, as to the last one, let me assure you that giving a spanking is not exactly rocket science. Sure, being good at it means more than just holding him over your knee and whacking away, but this is truly one field where practice can make perfect. And it can be loads of fun as well.

I've found that setting the right mood is as important as the physical spanking itself. When I spank a man, I am tapping into a certain part of my experience. I've been a mother and a teacher, so I've had a good deal of practice at being an authority figure. Not a harlot in black leather, but a caring, stern, firm woman who has seen a transgression and has a responsibility to correct it. After the first time or two, it comes pretty naturally. I think that would be true for most women. Nature has equipped us for a nurturing role. Part of nurturing is, of course, discipline. While it may not be proper to discipline your child or a student with corporal punishment, the attitudes and mannerisms that go with any sort of discipline can readily translate into the kind of atmosphere that make a spanking session with a grown up boy enjoyable for both of you. Scold. Question. Make sure the miscreant understands what he's done wrong and why he's about to receive his just desserts. Make sure he understands why the desserts are just. Relax, and take your time. He's not going anywhere, not until you tell him he can. After all, you're in charge here. Especially if that's a change from the norm for you, it can be quite thrilling in itself.

Most men who desire to be spanked are more than willing to give you that kind of control. It's part of why they want to be spanked in the first place. Again, it's not only the physical sensation of being bent over, or held down across your knee while their bottom gets made warm that makes it exciting for them. It's the whole scene that's created, the emotions, the sensations of sight and sound as well as touch. If your attitude commands respect, you'll get it. And I don't think there are too many women in the world who can't assume an attitude that commands respect. Not only that, but it gets easier each time, and more thrilling.

The problem of finding the right partner is another one I've heard. Let's say you have a regular partner and know he's into spanking, but you haven't been able to bring yourself to try it. The cure for this one is simple, and can be summed up in three little words: GO FOR IT! If he's your regular partner, and you give him this gift, I guarantee you'll get back a hundredfold more than you give. His admiration, gratitude and respect for you will grow by leaps and bounds. People of both sexes who are into spanking are awfully, even painfully hesitant to admit it to anyone. For most of us, it's been with us since childhood, and we grew up learning to hide it, and feeling ashamed of it. The fact that he has trusted you enough to open up this part of himself to you was probably a big step for him. To show him acceptance and understanding as a reaction to that will endear you to him forever.

And if he's not your regular partner, it was probably still hard for him to open up to you. The same outpouring of respect and admiration will still follow. As to whether or not he's "the right guy to try it with", well, you never really know until you try. In my career as a professional, I've spanked men who I thought it would be like work to be with, rather than fun. I've been surprised several times at how the chemistry changes when Margaret puts on her spanking face. Some of my most memorable sessions have come by surprise that way.

And what if you're the one who wants to try it and not him? The whole spanking scene is about trust. Certainly you shouldn't just walk up to some guy on the street and ask (or demand) that he drop his pants and climb over your lap! But if there's a guy you like or are attracted to, or just have the urge to spank, then try it! Go about it slowly, feeling him out on the subject. If you get the sense that he might be receptive, and if you have some trust in him, bring it up. I believe most guys wouldn't refuse that kind of offer. Whether you're in a long-standing relationship, or just getting to know someone, the rules are the same- be careful but honest.

What about if you don't have anyone in particular in mind? Personals are a good place to start. Publications like this one are loaded with ads from guys looking for a No-Nonsense Lady to warm their bottoms. If you don't feel comfortable placing your own ad (and believe me, you'd be swamped with responses), try answering a few. You can go at your own pace, correspond in writing until you feel comfortable enough to talk by phone, converse until you feel comfortable enough to meet, and meet socially until you feel comfortable enough to actually do some spanking. And if you never feel comfortable enough to spank a particular guy, there are always more ads.

There have been enough columns written about how to conduct a relationship starting with an ad, so I won't go into it here. But answering a few ads costs you nothing but a little time and a stamp or two. Go on, turn to the Personals in the back of this magazine. You'll find dozens of men, all shapes and sizes, from all walks of life, looking for everything from a onetime spanking to a lifelong commitment. Surely someone's desires will come close to your own. Make that first contact, and see what happens.

That brings us to the biggest concern I've heard from would-be lady spankers: Fear. They're afraid of the guys they might meet. Listen, I've spanked hundreds of men in my time. There have been one or two that I would just as soon not have met, but almost universally, the men into spanking are polite, courteous gentlemen. None have ever forced themselves on me. None have ever forced me to do anything I didn't want to do. As I said before, part of the whole fascination for them is the giving up of control to a strong, firm woman, and they do. And if you're the one in control, you decide what gets done, when and how. Besides, if you go slowly and get to know the man a bit before you meet with him, you can generally get a feel for whether he's sincere or not. During your conversations, don't be afraid to test him. Speak to him as you would if you were preparing to spank him. See if he says "Yes ma'am" and "No ma'am" if you tell him to address you that way. Test him further when you meet. Give him some simple instructions, like how to dress or where to be and when. If he follows your instructions, he's probably safe.

Now, about the actual spanking itself. It's perfectly natural to be nervous. Who isn't nervous the first time they try something new? As with anything else, the nervousness will go away as you get more accustomed, both to the particular scene you're into, and to actually taking part in spanking scenes in general. Your nerves don't have to spoil anything. Just try to relax as best you can, and above all have a good time with it. Isn't that what you're into this for in the first place? Take your time. Go at your own pace. Chances are the guy will be as nervous as you are, and will welcome the slow flow of events. And don't forget to savor every moment. There are thrills to be found in every aspect of the experience. No matter what your hot buttons, something will hit them. Maybe it'll be the way you feel when you scold him and he bows his head, unable to look you in the eye. Maybe it'll be the way he apologizes for his misbehavior, real or imagined, in a quiet, little-boy voice. It could be the sight of him in the corner, waiting for you to decide that it's time to teach your young man a lesson he'll not soon forget. Maybe the thrill of hearing his zipper on it's way down as you begin to prepare him for the spanking to come. Based on your discussions before getting this far, you might have him lower his own pants (and that can be a pretty thrilling sight), or you might have him stand there helplessly as you lower them for him. Again, savor the sights and sounds and scents and textures of the whole experience.

Of course, nothing really compares to the thrill of seeing a bared bottom for the first time with a new partner. Especially if it's turned up over your lap at the time, I promise you'll feel a thrill, a power that is intoxicating. But you'll never know it until you try it. There's a lot of truth in the old adage--- Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Don't wake up years from now regretting what you didn't do.

Be safe, be sane, but most of all... Be active!... Margaret Davis

Click to go to Margaret Davis' SCONY Web Site



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